I wish this book had been available 25 years ago when I was going through a divorce. I was initially seeing a therapist who told me I should leave my husband. Although I was not yet a therapist myself, I felt that this was not advice that a counselor should give a client. I subsequently found a gestalt therapist, who never told me what to do but helped me to get clarity on what was the best choice for me and my family.

Now, as a gestalt therapist myself, I appreciate Sonia‘s excellent guidance on how to get that clarity I so desperately needed years ago. She covers it all in her book!

From encouraging active awareness, to looking at one’s own realistic or unrealistic expectations, to excavating what keeps us in….is it worth the fight….or is it time to let go?

Her background as an attorney is so invaluable as she offers sound advice on how to proceed should you decide to divorce, how to stay safe, and the importance of developing self-love and nurturing one’s Spirit.

It is her spiritual insight that I especially respect and admire, as so many books like these leave out the importance of one’s spiritual journey.

You won’t be sorry you got this book!!!

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“There are many women trapped in unhappy marriages who are also burdened by the fears and uncertainties about trying to end it. Frontera offers this book to those who are unsure of their path forward but know that something needs to change: “It is my vow,” she writes in her introduction, “to help you get clear, get strong and get out of the pain you are feeling in your marriage.” Using her own divorce experience as a guide, the author aims to help the reader understand the state of her union, explore the possibility of divorce, and, if necessary, walk away from the relationship. This guide explains the ins and outs of the long but potentially fulfilling process—from figuring out whether you married the wrong person, to being honest about your part in marital strife, to planning the divorce conversation, to embracing a healthy lifestyle, post-separation. Most of all, however, Frontera reminds readers that they deserve to be happy. Her prose is warm and encouraging in tone, even when she deals with the sadder aspects of her topic: “You can’t choreograph, stage or rehearse your exit speech….But you must be prepared for this moment and, unless you have pre-selected the conditions, you must be ready to seize the opportunity when it arises.” The author also does an impressive job of combining emotional material with more pragmatic tips on, for example, finding a lawyer. Overall, though, this book is more about making the decision to get a divorce than it is about carrying it out. Women who find themselves at this crossroads will appreciate Frontera’s sympathetic framing of the issues, and her book will help them come to the conclusion that’s best for them.”

An earnest, practical manual for those considering divorce. – Kirkus Reviews

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Jonathan Wall, PsyD

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Donovan’s Literary Services chose Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist? as the Pick of the Month for June 2019– “Quite simply the single best book of that month’s Recommended Reading!”

In her review, professional editor, book reviewer and blogger D. Donovan stated:

Women who want to assess the potential survival of their marriage should consider Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?: Get Clear, Get Strong and Get Off the Fence. A Roadmap to Freedom … Sister’s Guides to Empowered Living one of the most powerful tools in their toolkit of understanding.

Under the guise of a whimsical, chatty piece lies an undertone of serious strategies for testing and rating one’s relationship to see if it’s truly time to call it quits, or if it’s possible to make major revisions.

There are many, many books on the market about divorce, but Sonia Frontera’s tone and techniques hold a satisfying difference from most, allowing women to take back control of the process how to make judgments and changes more clearly. Designed to supplement professional help, Solve the Divorce Dilemma is not a pro- or anti-divorce treatise, but one which encourages readers to enter this analysis with eyes wide open, and should be the first ‘go-to’ guide for any woman contemplating marital change.

Check out Donovan’s Bookshelf’s article and follow D. Donovan for exciting book reviews every month!

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Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?: Get Clear, Get Strong and Get Off the Fence. A Roadmap to Freedom … Sister’s Guides to Empowered Living, Book 1 may sound like a whimsically accessible read, but the sense of fun in the subtitle is actually an invitation to enter a serious exploration that provides women with keys to assessing the viability and potential of their own marriages.

Sonia Frontera maintains that divorce, while an option, should be approached with an active awareness of underlying attitudes about relationships that may have contributed to stagnation or dangerous situations. Readers are encouraged to self-analyze their marriage’s dynamics and their own attitudes. This approach requires a strong ability to self-assess and a desire to consider changes not only within the relationship, but in one’s choices, attitudes, and decisions.

Solve the Divorce Dilemma is not a pro- or anti-divorce treatise, but one which encourages readers to enter this analysis with eyes wide open. One might argue that this approach is best utilized with the aid of a licensed therapist, but Frontera’s book is meant to supplement professional help; not replace it. Think of it as a self-study workbook of exercises and tools that can be utilized either at home or with the assistance of a professional.

The processes of getting clear, getting strong, and perhaps getting out are outlined in chapters that cover everything from the fallout from social programming and its impact on womens’ lives to what constitutes awareness, and how to cultivate it on many levels.

Women who have traditionally led unexamined lives will be surprised at many of these insights, while those committed to real self-examination and change will be the best beneficiaries of a book that guides them through common pitfalls and obstacles to paths that lead in a more positive direction.

Another important facet of Solve the Divorce Dilemma lies in its many important daily insights, from missing or ignoring red flags about caustic behaviors in relationships to weighing the consequences of divorce and possible regret over decisions leading to it. In order to mitigate such regrets, it’s important for women to assess all reasonable opportunities for change within the relationship as well as outside of it (abusive situations being the exception to this rule).

From cultivating forgiveness to approaching one’s spouse with a request for divorce and handling the fallout from different kinds of reactions, Solve the Divorce Dilemma covers the entire emotional process. It is highly recommended reading for anyone interested in making lasting changes in their psyches and lives. These keys to change go beyond a singular relationship to probe how to make choices, react to adversity, and, ultimately, envision freedom and self-love.

D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review

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