“Find out where joy resides, and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss the joy is to miss all.”  *Robert Louis Stevenson*

Joy is yours for the taking!

Joy is everywhere. It is yours for the taking. Joy is a choice.

For six weeks, I have been afflicted with solid migraines that do not respond to treatment.

Nothing new. Migraines have been a fixture in my life for the past six years. I have enjoyed brief periods of wellness, only to be struck by another bout of the curse.

As much as I dislike IVs and my veins resist the painful pinching of the needles, I realized that I was running out of options and needed to bite the bullet if I wanted to be well enough to attend a lawyers’ conference next week.

As I made my way into my neurologist’s infusion room, the nurse, Tracy, greeted me cheerfully.

There were three other patients in the room. Smiling patients. Chatting patients. Everybody was happy discussing their weekend plans.

Your thoughts are the tickets to freedom and joy

And it dawned on me that illness doesn’t mean you cannot be happy. You have the choice to be happy in spite of it all. Your thoughts are your tickets to freedom and joy.

I could have tormented myself with thoughts about the prickly IV or with fear that the treatment would once again fail. I could have complained about the pain that doesn’t seem to end or mourned the time that has been wasted in its wake and that “important” things are not getting done.

Instead, I chose to surrender to the moment. I delighted in talking to the other patients and crunching on a bag of Doritos that tasted oh, so good! I enjoyed relaxing comfortably and having time to myself, a luxury I seldom have when I am feeling well. And before I knew it, the treatment was finished, and I was free to go home.

A lot of people cannot understand how I remain serene in the face of chronic pain.

We are conditioned to believe that joy can only be experienced when the circumstances are right—when the sun is shining, when I have the perfect job, find the right partner, when I have children and then when the children grow up.

This limiting belief robs us of the blessing of living in a state of joy in the midst of difficult circumstances: adversity, change, illness and loss.

Joy is a state of mind

The plain truth is that joy is a state of mind that can be attained with the awareness that every moment is a gift that must be enjoyed to the fullest, because it is not going to repeat itself. Every moment brings an opportunity to gain insights, share a kind word, feel and express love and revel in “the aliveness.”

Whether you are going through illness, divorce, unemployment or the loss of a loved one, know that you always have the choice to feel joy. And my companions in the infusion room are living proof of it.

For the record, the treatment didn’t work, and I continue to be in pain. But I am not giving up. This, too, shall pass. And I when it does, I will be happy too!

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

The post Joy is a choice! appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Earth Day is coming. For some, it is just another day. For others, it is a day of activism. An opportunity to contribute to making the world a better place.

For many, it is a sad reminder of the perilous state of our environment that reinforces a sense of powerlessness against the forces that are destroying our precious planet.

But quite often, after the day is over, the passion fizzles and we return to our complacent ways, oblivious to the perils to our environment.

I submit that Earth Day offers an invitation to step up to the plate and own your power to live mindfully and create change—every single day.

Read on to see how to own your power to effect change and be inspired by Earth Day to live purposely and mindfully.

A Little History

 Earth Day celebrates the anniversary of April 22, 1970, when 20 million Americans rallied in streets, parks and auditoriums to denounce the degradation caused by industrial development and to demonstrate for a sustainable environment.

Led by the Earth Day Network, Earth Day has evolved into an annual global event of political action and civil participation, engaging more than one billion people from 192 countries around the world.

Participants march, sign petitions, meet with government officials, plant trees and engage in environmental cleanup. Corporations and governments use it to make pledges and announce sustainability measures, while faith leaders tie the celebration to protecting God’s creation.

The festivity offers ample opportunities for people worldwide to come together and take action to improve upon and find solutions to pressing environmental problems our world faces.

But…is that all it is? Is Earth Day simply a quick pause from our daily routines? Just another day on the calendar?

Earth Day Invites Us to Live Mindfully and Embrace Unity Consciousness

Earth Day is much more than an annual event. Earth Day is an invitation to live our daily lives with higher awareness and to embrace unity consciousness, realizing that we are one with the world and one another.

Earth Day underscores that we are all equal members in this planet’s community. That whatever affects one person affects all. That an incident that occurs thousands of miles away will reverberate throughout the planet, with consequences that will be felt by future generations.

We are stewards charged with the high responsibility to preserve this precious planet and everything in it.

Use that awareness to influence your actions to make this world a better place. To own your power to effect change.

Earth Day Reminds Us We Have the Power to Create Change

While the issues are many and complex, many environmental problems can be improved with simple personal actions.

Each one of us has the power, as individuals, as consumers and advocates, to be the agents of change.

Let’s all do our part.

Recycling and conserving energy and fuel are obvious good starts. So is ditching single-use plastics for reusable materials.

What about minding your household cleaners? Toxic chemicals can be easily replaced with harmless products like white vinegar and baking soda, as well as with refillable biodegradable products, often at substantial savings.

How about minding what you eat?

Pay attention to how your food choices affect the environment and choose differently from now on.

Be informed on how the production of food results in the destruction of forests and wildlife and the pollution of our waters, among other ills. Learn how the use of pesticides and other dangerous chemicals not only degrade the environment, but our body temples as well, causing life-threatening conditions.

Farming communities are impacted by these practices, which can lead them to financial ruin, too.

Earth Day Invites Us to Care for the Vulnerable

Indeed, Earth Day exhorts us to consider how our consumption habits affect the poor and the disadvantaged.  To the ravaging of our planet and indigenous communities.

Unbeknownst to us, our purchases of common items, like clothing and chocolate, can contribute, not only to pollution, but to poverty, human slavery and child labor.

The opportunities to improve on the condition of our world are many and far-reaching.

Accept Earth’s Day invitation to investigate these issues, so you can make wiser choices going forward.

Take Action Now

There’s power in numbers.

Would you consider stealing a few minutes every day from your time on social media to inform yourself about the issues and report back with your network?

Numerous reputable organizations devote themselves to investigating and denouncing these evils. Sign up for their newsletters and commit to making a difference in world affairs.

Be the voice of change. It is simple and easy.

Sign petitions seeking solutions to these problems and share them with your friends. Encourage them to do their part, too. It takes only seconds and the impact, when done by many people, can be tremendous.

Earth Day Is a Mindset–Embrace it Fully

Most importantly, internalize that Earth Day is not a once-a-year event, but a mindset.

Embrace it as a way of living every day of the year–for the rest of your life.

Happy Earth Day!

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

The post On Earth Day, Own Your Power to Be the Change appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Spring Starts Today: Come Out of the Cave of Limiting Beliefs

Do you feel stuck in life? Are you oppressed by the same problems and situations repeating themselves over and over again? Are you always broke? Dating the same kind of jerks? Being taken advantage of?

You may be trapped in Groundhog Day! It’s time to come out of the shadows. Stop limiting beliefs and let spring begin—now!

In the classic comedy “Groundhog Day,” Bill Murray’s character, a weatherman covering Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, PA, gets trapped in a time warp reliving the same groundhog day over and over until he begins to appreciate the little things in life.

It may sound silly, but the basic premise of this film applies to our own lives. We will remain stuck re-living the same experiences until we learn their underlying lessons. Then and only then can we be free to enjoy a fresh start.

For those unfamiliar with Groundhog Day, it is a holiday celebrated on February 2 in the United States and Canada. If the groundhog comes out of his burrow and sees its shadow, it will go back in, prognosticating six more weeks of winter. If it doesn’t, welcome spring!

The Problem

Like the groundhog that gets frightened by its own shadow and goes back to its burrow, predicting an extended winter, we limit ourselves by our own shadow sides.

Unbeknownst to us, we allow our limiting beliefs and behavior patterns to trap us in a dark cave that prevents us from living our best lives.

Rather than being frightened by our shadows, we need to embrace them, make peace with them and let them go, so we can turn around and face the light.

Unless and until we learn our lessons, we will continue to repeat the mistakes of the past and remain stuck in an unevolved life.

The Solution

How, you may ask? It is super simple—with awareness. Examine your thoughts and beliefs, identify those that do not serve you and consciously let them go.

Catch yourself when you’re down and out and listen to the inner chatter that torments you and pushes you deeper into the hole.

Here’s a classic example.  If you peek in a divorce support group, you will find endless complaints of women who keep attracting the same kind of men. They are all selfish, thoughtless, cheaters. The list may be different for each woman–but you get my drift.

Chances are these men are identical personality-twins of their ex-husbands. Why? Because these women hold thought and behavior patterns that attract the same circumstances. No wonder Mr. Wrong keeps showing up at their doorstep!

The Way Out of the Hole

How do you break the cycle? With awareness.

When you’re upset by circumstances that repeat themselves, stop and ask yourself:

• What am I thinking?
• What is the origin of this belief?
• Is this true?
• Does it serve me?
• Do I need to keep this belief?
• Who would I be—how will I feel—if I let it go?

And LET-IT-GO!

In the case of the serial jerk-magnets, these ladies may be telling themselves things like: “I’m not beautiful enough.” “I am undesirable.” “No good man could ever love me.” “He may be a jerk, but at least I’m not alone.” “If he knew what I’m truly like he would leave me.”

These negative beliefs may be stem out of early childhood experiences, where a parent, teacher or classmate rejected them or said to them hurtful things that made them feel unworthy. The scenarios are many and familiar. We all have our own.

Upon further examination, these women can realize that these events are in the past, that their messages are not true and that they have no reason to keep them in their present lives, continuing to hurt them and hold them back from the happiness they deserve.

We all carry around our own set of negative beliefs.

As humans, we have all been exposed to painful experiences, but we don’t need to drag them around forever.

We all have wounds, but we don’t have to keep them open!

And this applies not only to relationships, but to all areas of your life—finances, work, play—you name it!

Most likely, you are holding negative beliefs that you picked up early on—from your parents, teachers, church, society.

We are constantly bombarded with messages and ideas that, rather than serving us, limit our fulfillment.

And these beliefs keep on showing up in our lives as the circumstances we encounter.

What’s important here is to use awareness to catch those limiting thoughts as they come up and eradicating them from our inner chatter repertoire.

You will then realize that you have the key to your own prison cell and that freedom is a choice you can make at any time.

And, by all means, do not limit this exercise to recurring problems. Practice this constantly and you will find yourself living a happier, more peaceful life.

Again, the key here is practice. With practice it will become second nature or, at least, you will be able to catch yourself early on in the process, so you can switch gears and stop the negativity before more damage is done.

Do not be frightened by our own shadows! Face them, embrace them and release them!

Happy Groundhog Day!

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

The post Stop Limiting Beliefs and Kiss Groundhog Day Goodbye appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Are you tired of making new year’s resolutions that go unfulfilled year after year? Can you envision a life where no resolutions are needed, and you stay on track day in and day out?  It is possible for you and I will tell you how. Read on!

Granted, as the year comes to an end and a new year begins, this is a time to reflect. A time to rejoice on the achievements of the year and mourn the failures and disappointments of things that didn’t go as planned.

It is a time to make fresh vows and resolutions for the year ahead and shift our focus from what did not work to what will work. Towards efforts that will yield results.

As you make your list of new year resolutions, take a close look at the items and notice how many of them are repeats from years past: lose those stubborn last 10 pounds, go to the gym every day, have a better relationship with your parents, partner and children, quit smoking–this time for good.

Why should we have to make the same resolutions every single year? To fail at our greatest desires and having to start over and over again?

Imagine if your life continuously progressed according to plan. Living on course every moment.

I have a secret for you… There is only one resolution you need to make that will transform your life–forever. BE AWARE!

Living with awareness, essentially, paying attention at all times, is all you need to live the life of your dreams.

Awareness is the best gift you can give to yourself.

With an aware mindset, you can keep your focus on the prize while you dissolve the obstacles that block you from achieving your deepest desires.

Once you make a habit of practicing awareness, writing a list of new year’s resolutions will become a thing of the past and living the dream your default state.

How do you begin?

Instead of writing your list and just posting it on the refrigerator, I invite you to take inventory of those resolutions that you made in the past that keep coming up year after year.

Ask yourself … why didn’t I accomplish these goals? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Limiting beliefs? Self-doubt? Lack of discipline? Lack of support? You have your reasons.

Get to the root of your failures. Identify the self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors that stop you dead in your tracks when you’re about to make a breakthrough.  Then tackle them head on!

The Plan

As you encounter situations that interfere with the achievement of your goals, this 4-step action plan will help:

1. Stop;
2. Notice your feelings;
3. Identify your triggers; and
4. Take corrective action: replace negative thoughts and behaviors with thoughts and actions that support your desires.

Here are some examples of how you can put them in practice:

You’ve vowed to lose weight this year

As you’re about to put that donut in your mouth, stop and think… Am I really hungry? Why do I want this donut? Am I stressed out? Lonely? Reacting to an unpleasant event? What positive action can help me obtain the feelings of well-being I am seeking from the short-lived pleasure of the Krispy Kreme?

Then put the donut down and take that alternative action. Meditate for a few minutes. Do a few yoga poses. Call an uplifting friend.

If you gave in to the donut already, don’t punish yourself. Have an action plan to counterattack the craving next time it hits and commit to it. Then take a brisk walk or do jumping jacks to dissolve the post-donut remorse and burn some calories.

If improved relationships are your goal

• Pay close attention to your interactions with others, whether they’re friends, family or colleagues. Be present when you’re together and avoid reacting to things they say and do. Respond with kindness from your higher self.
• If you uttered hurtful or careless words, step back and reflect. Realize the words did not come out right and apologize sincerely.
• Observe what kinds of situations push your buttons. Acknowledge your propensity to speak or act without thinking and catch yourself next time you’re in a similar position.
• With practice, you should be able to master situations that could get you into trouble.

Is this the year you’re determined to make your lifetime dream come true?

Perhaps it’s something you’ve never done before and may not have the advantages or experience possessed by others who’ve done it already.

• What do you do when you hit a bump on the road? Is your first reaction to quit? Do you tell yourself you don’t know what you’re doing so you might as well give up before you’ve invested too much into it? Do you think you’re not good enough?
• Listen carefully to your inner chatter. What do you tell yourself? Do these messages serve you? Are they even true?
• Replace these negative thoughts with positive affirmations. And then take a small, sure step towards reaching your goal. How about: “I can do this.” “I am perfectly equipped to fulfill my destiny.”
• Then take some inspired action, perhaps buying a book or taking a course that will provide you with the know-how necessary to perform the next tasks with confidence. Or look for a mentor who can show you the ropes and support you with encouragement and expertise.

The key is taking instant corrective action and not berating yourself when you mess up. Taking baby steps towards achieving your goals instead of being overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task.

Do this for every area of your life that is important to you: health, relationships, career, personal growth–you have your own set of priorities. Honor them!

In the beginning, you may need to sit down and review your progress every couple months or weeks. But this is a process that you can master and gets easier with time and practice.

Before you know it, practicing awareness will become second nature and you will live your life consciously with little effort.

Inhabiting in a state of awareness doesn’t mean you won’t have problems again. But it will provide you with the tools to fix the hiccups as they come up, rather than throwing in the towel at the first sign of adversity.

You will find yourself achieving your goals, growing as a person and deliberately creating the life that, up to now, was only a fantasy.

What resolutions keep coming up on your annual list? What obstacles have kept you from achieving them? What strategies have helped you overcome some of these obstacles?

What goals will you accomplish this year?

May the year bring you the fulfillment of your innermost dreams and desires!

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

The post Awareness: The New Year’s Resolution that Will Transform Your Life Forever appeared first on Sonia Frontera.