Solo Holidays can Be Fun!

Are you dreading spending the holidays alone? Perhaps you’re going through a divorce, you recently moved to a new city, or your loved ones live too far away to travel.

With the COVID pandemic taking another spike, you may wish to avoid people altogether.

Regardless of your situation, holidays alone don’t mean having a miserable time.

In this post, I will share 5 tips to help you stay sane—and actually have a great time–if you’re spending the holidays alone.

1. Plan ahead

Don’t let the holidays sneak up on you unprepared. Instead of moping and feeling sorry for yourself, use the ideas below to inspire you to take action and make these holidays rock!

Line up your ducks. Make sure you have at hand all the materials, ingredients, and equipment you’ll need to carry out your desires and pick them up before the stores close or run out of stock.

If you wish for company, make plans with others before their dance card is full.

2. Connect with others

Just because you’re alone for the holidays doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. The loved ones you can’t see in person may be as close as a phone call, text, or video call.

And remember that you’re not the only person spending the holidays alone. Reach out for company and have a blast!

Below are just a few options to inspire you to create fun of your own!

Attend or host a holiday party

Get out there and meet new people. Attend a holiday party at a nearby church or community organization.

No parties near you? Throw your own pot-luck bash and invite other people who are spending the holidays alone. Ask everyone to bring their favorite holiday dish or something traditional to their family or culture.

Volunteer

Being of service is the best way to beat loneliness and self-pity.  Seek opportunities to volunteer, whether it’s at a soup kitchen, a toy drive, wrapping or delivering presents, or visiting the elderly. Caring for the less fortunate will make you realize how blessed you are and will fill your heart with gratitude.

Join a local holiday event

Towns large and small host a variety of holiday-themed events, from tree-lighting ceremonies to movies, holiday markets, and library events. Check out your local newspaper, Meet-Ups, and Evite for events near you. You may make new friends and feel more connected to your community.

3. Pamper yourself and enjoy life’s simple pleasures

The hustle and bustle of the holidays can leave you feeling stressed and frazzled. Take advantage of your “me time”  to relax and recharge!

Do what brings you joy and engage in nurturing activities that you are usually too busy to do. Or do nothing at all and savor the moment.

These are just a few options:

Indulge in self-care

Take a fragrant bath surrounded by candlelight, curl up with a good book, or just take a nap. Enjoy a solo movie night. Catch up on your shows and binge on new releases and traditional holiday movies and series.

Feast on holiday treats

Stock your pantry with your favorite holiday foods. Try out new recipes or travel in time and cook your family’s traditional meals. Take out your nice dishes for added pizzaz and post your masterpieces on social media.

Brave the great outdoors

Go out for a walk. Visit a park or nature trail. The exercise will boost your energy and spirit. If the weather’s too cold, go for a night drive. Delight in the light displays in fancy neighborhoods with childlike wonder.

4. Get a head start on the new year

Make your holidays productive. Your alone time gives you the perfect opportunity to clear your head, reflect on the events and accomplishments of the year, and plot your goals for the year ahead. Grab your journal, make a list and take action.

Get cranking on your new year’s resolutions

Use this bonus time to work on those goals, whether it’s getting in shape, starting a new project, or learning something new.

• Get organized. Embrace your inner Marie Kondo. Clean out your closets, declutter your home and donate gently used items to charity. Take a tax deduction on your next tax return.
• Tackle the tasks you avoided all year.
• Start or finish those projects you’ve been avoiding and plan new ones for the year to come.

Take on new hobbies

Do an inventory of your dreams. Is there a hobby you’ve always wanted to try but were too busy or too chicken to pursue it?

Whether it’s skydiving or knitting, start investigating courses and equipment you’ll need to begin your journey when the holidays are over.

5. Get help if you have a bad case of the blues

If the stress of solo holidays is more than you can handle, get help.

Talk to a mental health professional or investigate options available online, from hotlines to virtual visits. You don’t have to go through this alone.

What are your holiday plans? Share them and post your ideas for alone holiday fun in the comments below!

Happy Holidays!

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The post 5 Tips to Enjoy Spending the Holidays Alone appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

The holidays are fast approaching and encroaching and divorce is in your life.  There is holiday magic in the air–music and lights, lots of parties and yummy treats! But rather than surrendering to the magic of the season you are feeling a case of the blues.

Maybe you and your husband are separated, or going through divorce. Perhaps your divorce is now final and these will be your first holidays without him. Now what?

The prospects of spending the holidays as a single woman may feel daunting and you’re dreading the whole season altogether. You may be experiencing feelings of depression, sadness and fear. How will you get through it all?

Drop the Kleenex, sister, and pick up a pen and paper. I am going to tell you exactly how you’re going to make these your happiest holidays–up to now!

I can honestly say that first Christmas during separation was the best during my marriage. Rather than staying with his parents, I got celebrate at my church, eat my traditional foods and bounce around to my favorite music with reckless joy and abandon. It was liberating!

You can do it, too! Let’s get to work!

1. Do a Reality Check

Are you romanticizing your marital holidays? Were these holidays so perfect that there was no room for improvement? Really?

Chances are that, thinking about it, the holidays were not as ideal as you’d like to remember. We all have selective memories. There surely were aspects of the holidays with hubby that were not so fun.

For me, being alone for the holidays was bliss compared to Christmas with the in-laws. No more 6-hour food extravaganzas, no more indigestion, and I was spared the dinner table catfights with my sister in law.

What did you loathe about the holidays with your ex or soon-to-be ex? Family dysfunction? Mother in law digs? Bad food? Drama? Cheesy gifts?

Make your list. Check it twice. You can be as naughty as you want and not at all nice! I’m not telling!

Now that you’ve knocked out perfection out of your holidays, it’s time to figure out what your blues are truly about.

2. Do Emotional Inventory

The next thing you need to do is get in touch with your feelings (and then I will tell you how to honor them.)

Pick a quiet spot in a private place. You don’t want to do this at Starbucks for the world to see, because you need to allow yourself to get immersed in your emotions and have an uncensored crying fit if the situation demands.

Quiet your mind and summon props that will get you in holiday mode. Play your favorite holiday music and have a glass of eggnog. Then, ask yourself–what am I feeling now?

Are you sad? Lonely? Financially strapped? Do you feel afraid you’re going to melt down?

Write out all the feelings that come to mind and, when you’re done, think about this… What is triggering these feelings? What are you going to miss the most?

Are you sad because the children won’t be with you? Are you feeling down on yourself because you don’t have a partner? Are you afraid of being alone? Will you miss the family members that are not family anymore? Are you nostalgic because you will have to do without longstanding traditions that marked the holidays–as you knew them? All of the above?

You probably have a laundry list of reasons of your own, so write them all down.

Once you have identified the reasons you are feeling blue, you can create strategies to counterattack each of these feelings.

3. Miss Your Old Traditions? Create New Traditions

A big factor in your feelings is very likely the fact that the holidays will be different from what they used to be. Human beings are averse to change, especially when forced to give up things that are meaningful and cherished.

You may need to give up your old traditions, but you have a golden opportunity to create new and exciting traditions of your own! Your imagination is the limit!

Are there any holiday dreams you have yet to realize? Spending the holidays in another country? In a warm climate with a festive environment? Not having responsibility for hosting a crowd? Spending time with people who are fun?

Rekindle old relationships with friends and relatives and spend time with a different crowd! They will probably be thrilled that you reached out!

4. Miss Your Kids? “Adopt” a Needy Child

Being separated from your children at this time of the year is probably the hardest part of it all. Perhaps you will be splitting their time with your ex or soon-to-be ex and you will miss having them with you during the entire season.

I understand. That blows! Spending the holidays with your children is a big part of the magic. But the magic will still be there for you to enjoy when you make it your intention to make the best of it!

Volunteer to deliver toys and gifts to less privileged children. “Adopt” a less fortunate family and invite them to your home  to celebrate while your children are away. Or offer to bring them presents to brighten up their holidays.

The joy you will bring to them will warm your heart! Take pictures and place them where you can see them and relive the special moments whenever you feel sad!

5. Feel Financially Strapped? YOU Are the Gift!

If divorce has left you in the red and you have little or no money to buy presents, remember that your love and companionship are the most precious gifts you can give to another.

Do something thoughtful for someone you care about. Bake cookies or make a meal. Offer to help with errands. Babysit for a friend or relative who needs a date night.

Spend quality time with your kids and engage in fun activities that will build memories that last a lifetime.

And remember, there are countless people out there who feel abandoned and alone. You can provide them with the cheer that can brighten up their holidays.

Look for opportunities to help the less fortunate. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Visit patients at a hospital or a nursing home. Reach out to your local non-profits and seek opportunities to make a difference.

I guarantee you that the experience will transform your life and your holidays forever!

6. Feel Lonely? Celebrate with Friends from Other Faiths!

You don’t have to celebrate your holidays alone. Chances are your friends from other traditions may be free to celebrate with you. Why don’t you throw an interfaith holiday event?

I had no plans for my first Christmas Eve post-divorce, so I hosted a dinner party for my Jewish friends–all men! It was a blast! No expectations, no pressure, just friendship at its best. It doesn’t have to be fancy or involved. If they don’t share your traditions, they won’t have any preconceived ideas of what to expect!

Regardless of your circumstances, remember that you have the power to create your experience. You and you alone get to choose how you feel and how you spend your holiday time. Make the best of it!

May you be happy this holiday season and always! Best wishes for you and yours!

What are your plans this holiday season? How do you intend to beat the blues?

I’d love to hear from you! Share your insights with your sisters by posting a comment below.

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

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The post Divorce Dilemma: Single for the Holidays and Loving It! appeared first on Sonia Frontera.