In a culture that’s obsessed with success, that segregates people into winners and losers, those of us who made a mistake picking our life partner can spend the rest of our lives married instead to a label of failure. The concept of the “failed marriage” causes needless suffering: to people recovering from divorce and to those who hang on to unsalvageable marriages to spare themselves of embarrassing feelings of failure. The myth of the failed marriage is only one of the many negative beliefs society inflicts on us and that we accept as truth. But you don’t have to accept this or any other myth that does not serve you. Ending your marriage doesn’t make you a terrible person or a loser; it only makes you and your spouse incompatible.

In this guest post in Divorced Moms, I debunk the myth of a failed marriage.

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and domestic violence advocate. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

The post Debunking the Myth of the Failed Marriage appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

August 25^th is Kiss and Make Up Day. With the COVID lockdown bringing too much togetherness, many couples are pondering if they should call it quits or if they should make up.

All couples have their ups and downs, and many can be weathered with love and a commitment to work things out. Filing for divorce is a life-altering decision that should be made carefully and never in haste.

Before you head to your lawyer’s office, do emotional inventory and sort through your marital dynamics to determine whether your marriage can be saved or if it is time to move on.

Here are seven queries to walk you through the process, gain clarity and help you make the divorce decision with confidence.

• Do you still love your partner?

If you no longer love your spouse, it is more humane to get a divorce, so both partners can rebuild their lives and be happy, although separately. If the love is still there, however, investing in the relationship can pay off and spare you from heartache and regret.

• What do you need to be happy in a relationship and can you provide it to one another?

You may not be happy right now, but your marriage can improve if both parties are willing and able to work on it. Understanding your needs and communicating them to your spouse is the first step. Committing to a joint action plan is instrumental.

• Are your spouse’s behaviors offensive to any reasonable person or just to you?

Ponder whether most people find the behaviors that drive you crazy offensive or if they are your personal pet peeves. Some behaviors, like abuse, are deal-breakers. Lesser offenses, like leaving socks on the floor or the toothpaste cap off are annoying. But do they justify ending your marriage?

• Are your spouse’s annoying behaviors mindless, reckless or intended to upset you?

Evaluate whether you are vexed by thoughtless behaviors that can be corrected or if your spouse is hurting you intentionally.

• Do you contribute to relationship strife and can you make changes to reduce discord?

Pay attention to your words and actions and how they affect your relationship. Notice what happens when you try a new approach to situations that create conflict.

• Would you be happier alone?

You deserve to be happy. You are not doing yourself or your spouse any favors by staying in a relationship that makes you miserably unhappy.

• Are you afraid that, if you leave, you will regret it later?

Approximately 50 percent of divorced couples regret having divorced and wish they had worked harder at saving their marriages. If you are worried that you will be sorry you divorced, give your relationship one last chance before you say goodbye.

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

The post Should You and Your Spouse Kiss and Make Up? appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Jonathan Wall, PsyD

The post Editorial Review: A Positive and Constructive Way to Face the Challenges in One’s Marital Relationship appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Contemplating divorce? You may still have time to save your relationship. The experts reveal what divorced couples wished they had done differently to save their marriages.

Check out this article by Carolyn Steber published on Bustle, featuring Sonia Frontera, author of “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

Now that you know, don’t let it happen to you!

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

The post What Divorced Couples Wish They Had Done Differently – The Experts Weigh In, Featuring Sonia Frontera appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Donovan’s Literary Services chose Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist? as the Pick of the Month for June 2019– “Quite simply the single best book of that month’s Recommended Reading!”

In her review, professional editor, book reviewer and blogger D. Donovan stated:

Women who want to assess the potential survival of their marriage should consider Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?: Get Clear, Get Strong and Get Off the Fence. A Roadmap to Freedom … Sister’s Guides to Empowered Living one of the most powerful tools in their toolkit of understanding.

Under the guise of a whimsical, chatty piece lies an undertone of serious strategies for testing and rating one’s relationship to see if it’s truly time to call it quits, or if it’s possible to make major revisions.

There are many, many books on the market about divorce, but Sonia Frontera’s tone and techniques hold a satisfying difference from most, allowing women to take back control of the process how to make judgments and changes more clearly. Designed to supplement professional help, Solve the Divorce Dilemma is not a pro- or anti-divorce treatise, but one which encourages readers to enter this analysis with eyes wide open, and should be the first ‘go-to’ guide for any woman contemplating marital change.

Check out Donovan’s Bookshelf’s article and follow D. Donovan for exciting book reviews every month!

.

The post Solve the Divorce Dilemma Selected Recommended Reading of the Month by Donovan’s Literary Services! appeared first on Sonia Frontera.