Is Annulment Right for You? Don’t Jump the Gun and Shoot Yourself!

If you’re contemplating ending your marriage and wondering if an annulment is right for you, I’m here to help.

An annulment may seem more appealing if you belong to a religious or conservative community that frowns on divorce. Annulling your marriage may appear like a clean break without the stigma of being a divorcee.

But before jumping in, educate yourself about the differences between an annulment and a divorce in the state where you live.

Whether an annulment is preferable in your case rides on several factors. Your rights are different depending on the proceeding you choose and the laws where you live. So choose with care guided by an experienced family law attorney in your area who can explain how your local laws apply to your situation.

In this post, I will discuss important factors to consider in deciding whether to pursue an annulment or a divorce.

Let’s begin!

What is an annulment?

An annulment is a legal proceeding that declares a marriage invalid, as if it had never occurred.

The court determines there was a defect in the marriage that made the union void or voidable at the onset. Therefore, annulments are available under extremely limited circumstances.

An individual seeking an annulment must prove to the court that the invalidating circumstances existed when the marriage took place.

When is an annulment suitable?

An annulment may be a better option for short marriages, where the couple discovers that their marriage was not legal, or for a spouse who was deceived or coerced into the marriage. Additionally, an annulment does not require a waiting period before filing, so the parties may proceed right away.

Longer marriages may have more issues to resolve, such as the distribution of property acquired jointly and issues involving children. Divorce may be more appropriate in these cases, as I will explain below.

Differences between annulment and divorce

A divorce, unlike an annulment, dissolves a valid marriage.

Every state has different grounds for divorce that typically include problems that developed after the wedding, like irreconcilable differences, abandonment, adultery, or cruelty.

Some states require a waiting period before a party can file for divorce, ranging from a few months to a few years.

In many jurisdictions, an annulment is harder to get than a divorce because there are fewer available grounds and they may be difficult to prove.

Common grounds for annulment

The grounds for annulment vary by jurisdiction. You must present evidence and convince the court that these factors existed before the wedding ceremony and that you did not know about them at the time.

Common grounds for annulment include:

1. Fraud or misrepresentation

If your spouse misrepresented or lied to you about a significant matter to induce you to marry, you may file for annulment. This may include marrying to get a green card, hiding an addiction, their desire to have children, or pregnancy by another partner.

A family law attorney can advise you if your spouse’s lie or misrepresentation is sufficient to support a petition for an annulment.

2. Coercion

You can get an annulment if your spouse forced you to marry under threats of violence or death to yourself or family members.

3. Underage marriage

Each state has an age, typically 18, before individuals can be married without parental consent. If you or your spouse were younger than the age of consent when you wed, you may seek an annulment.

4. Bigamy

If you discover your spouse was already married to another person at the time of the marriage, you can annul your union. Since bigamy is a crime, your spouse can also be prosecuted for the offense.

5. Incest

If you discover that you and your spouse are close blood relatives, your marriage can be terminated on those grounds.

6. Mental incapacity

If one spouse lacked the capacity to understand they were getting married due to intoxication by drugs or alcohol or due to a mental disability, the marriage can be annulled.

7. Impotence or lack of consummation

Your marriage can be annulled if your husband concealed he was impotent and is unable or unwilling to engage in sexual relations. A man can file for annulment if his wife knowingly lied about being infertile. These conditions must exist when you got married. Becoming impotent or discovering infertility after marriage does not qualify for an annulment.

The annulment process

The annulment process begins by filing a petition with the court stating the grounds for your request. You must also serve this petition on your spouse.

If your spouse contests the petition, the court will hold a hearing where you will have to present evidence and prove your case.

The court will evaluate the evidence and grant or deny the annulment. Depending on your state, the court may also decide other issues associated with parenting your children and property division.

Once the court grants your petition, the marriage is deemed voided and the parties become single, instead of divorced.

Why it matters

Since an annulment voids the marriage as if it had never occurred, the laws handle issues differently in annulment versus divorce cases.

Choosing an annulment may be a dangerous move. Since the court decides a marriage didn’t exist, you could lose some rights afforded to divorcing spouses. That’s why you must have an attorney explain your options in detail.

Here are just a few of them:

1. Property division in annulment cases

In divorce cases, the court decides how to divide assets and debt acquired during the marriage. The laws may provide for equitable distribution or community property depending on where you live. These laws may not apply to annulments, and the division of property and liabilities may be more complicated. Or you may lose rights to property, such as the marital home, that you may be entitled to in a divorce. Make sure you understand your rights under each scenario before you proceed.

2. Annulment and alimony

In some states, spouses have a right to spousal support after a marriage ends in divorce. That may not be true in an annulment, where a court rules that the marriage never existed.

Do not cheat yourself. Speak to a family lawyer first and find out if you could lose your right to alimony if your marriage is annulled.

3. Child Custody and Support

Children born of your relationship do not cease to exist when a marriage is voided. But their rights may differ from the children of divorce. Divorce laws provide certain benefits and protections and the legal mechanisms to enforce them.

In annulment cases, the law may limit your children to the rights available to children born out of wedlock.

Do not deprive your children of what belongs to them. Educate yourself regarding their rights under each proceeding with the help of a family lawyer, so you can protect their rights.

4. Annulment and taxes

An annulment can also affect your taxes and any joint returns filed during the marriage will need to be amended. Consult with a financial advisor or tax accountant before you petition to annul your marriage to determine the tax consequences compared to a divorce.

5. Annulment and immigration

Marriage to a U.S. citizen or permanent resident may give you immigration rights. The end of a marriage under either proceeding may affect the immigration status of the non-citizen spouse.

The U.S. government takes marriage fraud seriously and seeks deportation for suspected marriage fraud. In these cases, the immigrant must prove they married their spouse in good faith, not to get a green card.

If you’re an immigrant, talk to an immigration attorney if you are seeking to end your marriage or your spouse files for annulment or divorce.

6. Annulment and prenups

When the court voids a marriage as if it never occurred, your rights under a prenuptial agreement may end as well. Consult with a family attorney to find out if the law in your state enforces prenuptial agreements in your case.

7. Annulment and religion

If you think you’re better off annulling your marriage for religious reasons, think again. The court proceeding only invalidates your civil marriage and has nothing to do with your religious union.

If you desire a religious divorce, such as a catholic annulment or Jewish get, you must pursue it separately after the court grants the divorce.

Conclusion

As you can see, ending your marriage, whether by annulment or divorce, can have serious consequences for the quality of your life.

Before proceeding, make sure you understand the laws and how they affect you and your children in each scenario. A competent family law attorney is your best defense to make sure your rights and your future are protected.

The post Annulment or Divorce? Why it matters appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Relationship Solutions is an excellent book for readers who are looking to start their life all over again or need guidance when it comes to making decisions on the future of their unhappy relationship or marriage. The insights shared will not only help readers with their own thought patterns but also the mindsets of their spouses and partners. Sonia Frontera‘s approach to the topic is simple and easy to apply and helps readers adopt an active awareness so that they can create the joyful life they deserve. The book offers good encouragement when it comes to making choices that will help them seize the power and make the next positive moves. For readers looking to create a life of freedom and fulfillment, this book will help them cultivate the skills to turn their obstacles into opportunities and create joy and happiness.

Reviewed By Mamta Madhavan for Readers’ Favorite

The post Rave Review from Readers’ Favorite appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

August 25^th is Kiss and Make Up Day. With the COVID lockdown bringing too much togetherness, many couples are pondering if they should call it quits or if they should make up.

All couples have their ups and downs, and many can be weathered with love and a commitment to work things out. Filing for divorce is a life-altering decision that should be made carefully and never in haste.

Before you head to your lawyer’s office, do emotional inventory and sort through your marital dynamics to determine whether your marriage can be saved or if it is time to move on.

Here are seven queries to walk you through the process, gain clarity and help you make the divorce decision with confidence.

• Do you still love your partner?

If you no longer love your spouse, it is more humane to get a divorce, so both partners can rebuild their lives and be happy, although separately. If the love is still there, however, investing in the relationship can pay off and spare you from heartache and regret.

• What do you need to be happy in a relationship and can you provide it to one another?

You may not be happy right now, but your marriage can improve if both parties are willing and able to work on it. Understanding your needs and communicating them to your spouse is the first step. Committing to a joint action plan is instrumental.

• Are your spouse’s behaviors offensive to any reasonable person or just to you?

Ponder whether most people find the behaviors that drive you crazy offensive or if they are your personal pet peeves. Some behaviors, like abuse, are deal-breakers. Lesser offenses, like leaving socks on the floor or the toothpaste cap off are annoying. But do they justify ending your marriage?

• Are your spouse’s annoying behaviors mindless, reckless or intended to upset you?

Evaluate whether you are vexed by thoughtless behaviors that can be corrected or if your spouse is hurting you intentionally.

• Do you contribute to relationship strife and can you make changes to reduce discord?

Pay attention to your words and actions and how they affect your relationship. Notice what happens when you try a new approach to situations that create conflict.

• Would you be happier alone?

You deserve to be happy. You are not doing yourself or your spouse any favors by staying in a relationship that makes you miserably unhappy.

• Are you afraid that, if you leave, you will regret it later?

Approximately 50 percent of divorced couples regret having divorced and wish they had worked harder at saving their marriages. If you are worried that you will be sorry you divorced, give your relationship one last chance before you say goodbye.

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

The post Should You and Your Spouse Kiss and Make Up? appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Read on!

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

Should You Divorce Now, or Wait Until the Holidays Are Over?

The post Should You Divorce Now or Wait Until the Holidays Are Over? appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Feel like something’s missing from your relationship? Release your doubts and fears and get your groove back with help from the experts!

Check out this article by Carolyn Steber published on Bustle, featuring Sonia Frontera, author of “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

The post What’s Missing from Your Relationship and How to Get It Back. The experts tell all. appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Donovan’s Literary Services chose Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist? as the Pick of the Month for June 2019– “Quite simply the single best book of that month’s Recommended Reading!”

In her review, professional editor, book reviewer and blogger D. Donovan stated:

Women who want to assess the potential survival of their marriage should consider Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?: Get Clear, Get Strong and Get Off the Fence. A Roadmap to Freedom … Sister’s Guides to Empowered Living one of the most powerful tools in their toolkit of understanding.

Under the guise of a whimsical, chatty piece lies an undertone of serious strategies for testing and rating one’s relationship to see if it’s truly time to call it quits, or if it’s possible to make major revisions.

There are many, many books on the market about divorce, but Sonia Frontera’s tone and techniques hold a satisfying difference from most, allowing women to take back control of the process how to make judgments and changes more clearly. Designed to supplement professional help, Solve the Divorce Dilemma is not a pro- or anti-divorce treatise, but one which encourages readers to enter this analysis with eyes wide open, and should be the first ‘go-to’ guide for any woman contemplating marital change.

Check out Donovan’s Bookshelf’s article and follow D. Donovan for exciting book reviews every month!

.

The post Solve the Divorce Dilemma Selected Recommended Reading of the Month by Donovan’s Literary Services! appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Trouble in your relationships? Try kindness!

Check out this guest post by Sonia Frontera published in While I Was Reading, a book blog by author Ramona Mead.

And remember to subscribe!

The post How to Heal Troubled Relationships appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Is  your relationship worth saving? Check out this article by Kristine Fellizar published on Bustle, featuring Sonia Frontera, author of “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

The post Is Your Relationship Worth Saving? appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Spring Starts Today: Come Out of the Cave of Limiting Beliefs

Do you feel stuck in life? Are you oppressed by the same problems and situations repeating themselves over and over again? Are you always broke? Dating the same kind of jerks? Being taken advantage of?

You may be trapped in Groundhog Day! It’s time to come out of the shadows. Stop limiting beliefs and let spring begin—now!

In the classic comedy “Groundhog Day,” Bill Murray’s character, a weatherman covering Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, PA, gets trapped in a time warp reliving the same groundhog day over and over until he begins to appreciate the little things in life.

It may sound silly, but the basic premise of this film applies to our own lives. We will remain stuck re-living the same experiences until we learn their underlying lessons. Then and only then can we be free to enjoy a fresh start.

For those unfamiliar with Groundhog Day, it is a holiday celebrated on February 2 in the United States and Canada. If the groundhog comes out of his burrow and sees its shadow, it will go back in, prognosticating six more weeks of winter. If it doesn’t, welcome spring!

The Problem

Like the groundhog that gets frightened by its own shadow and goes back to its burrow, predicting an extended winter, we limit ourselves by our own shadow sides.

Unbeknownst to us, we allow our limiting beliefs and behavior patterns to trap us in a dark cave that prevents us from living our best lives.

Rather than being frightened by our shadows, we need to embrace them, make peace with them and let them go, so we can turn around and face the light.

Unless and until we learn our lessons, we will continue to repeat the mistakes of the past and remain stuck in an unevolved life.

The Solution

How, you may ask? It is super simple—with awareness. Examine your thoughts and beliefs, identify those that do not serve you and consciously let them go.

Catch yourself when you’re down and out and listen to the inner chatter that torments you and pushes you deeper into the hole.

Here’s a classic example.  If you peek in a divorce support group, you will find endless complaints of women who keep attracting the same kind of men. They are all selfish, thoughtless, cheaters. The list may be different for each woman–but you get my drift.

Chances are these men are identical personality-twins of their ex-husbands. Why? Because these women hold thought and behavior patterns that attract the same circumstances. No wonder Mr. Wrong keeps showing up at their doorstep!

The Way Out of the Hole

How do you break the cycle? With awareness.

When you’re upset by circumstances that repeat themselves, stop and ask yourself:

• What am I thinking?
• What is the origin of this belief?
• Is this true?
• Does it serve me?
• Do I need to keep this belief?
• Who would I be—how will I feel—if I let it go?

And LET-IT-GO!

In the case of the serial jerk-magnets, these ladies may be telling themselves things like: “I’m not beautiful enough.” “I am undesirable.” “No good man could ever love me.” “He may be a jerk, but at least I’m not alone.” “If he knew what I’m truly like he would leave me.”

These negative beliefs may be stem out of early childhood experiences, where a parent, teacher or classmate rejected them or said to them hurtful things that made them feel unworthy. The scenarios are many and familiar. We all have our own.

Upon further examination, these women can realize that these events are in the past, that their messages are not true and that they have no reason to keep them in their present lives, continuing to hurt them and hold them back from the happiness they deserve.

We all carry around our own set of negative beliefs.

As humans, we have all been exposed to painful experiences, but we don’t need to drag them around forever.

We all have wounds, but we don’t have to keep them open!

And this applies not only to relationships, but to all areas of your life—finances, work, play—you name it!

Most likely, you are holding negative beliefs that you picked up early on—from your parents, teachers, church, society.

We are constantly bombarded with messages and ideas that, rather than serving us, limit our fulfillment.

And these beliefs keep on showing up in our lives as the circumstances we encounter.

What’s important here is to use awareness to catch those limiting thoughts as they come up and eradicating them from our inner chatter repertoire.

You will then realize that you have the key to your own prison cell and that freedom is a choice you can make at any time.

And, by all means, do not limit this exercise to recurring problems. Practice this constantly and you will find yourself living a happier, more peaceful life.

Again, the key here is practice. With practice it will become second nature or, at least, you will be able to catch yourself early on in the process, so you can switch gears and stop the negativity before more damage is done.

Do not be frightened by our own shadows! Face them, embrace them and release them!

Happy Groundhog Day!

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

The post Stop Limiting Beliefs and Kiss Groundhog Day Goodbye appeared first on Sonia Frontera.

Part 1

You’re unhappy in your marriage and the thought of divorce has crossed your mind–often. You’re looking out the window with your sneakers on, pondering whether to stay or to run as fast as you can. But you’re still in. Why?

There’s no escaping until you figure out what are the barriers to your freedom. Unless you identify them you won’t be able to take action and overcome them.

In this 4-part series, I will discuss some of the classic traps that keep women in miserable marriages and ways to reclaim your power and enjoy a life of freedom and fulfillment.

Are you stuck in any of them?

Keep reading and find out!

Financial Dependence

Many women stay in unhappy marriages and toxic relationships because they depend on their partners for support. They may think they don’t have the earning capacity to support themselves if they were on their own. Or they may have become used to an affluent lifestyle that they would hate to give up in a divorce.

Are you one of them? If so, there’s hope!

I know that financial dependence is a powerful deterrent. But it’s like staying in the job from hell for the health benefits, even though the job is making you sick! Financial fears are the result of limiting thinking you can overcome.

It is inevitable that a divorce will result in supporting two households with the money that supported just one. But you have the power to write your own ticket to joy, freedom and success! Once you have removed yourself from a toxic marriage that holds you back, you can harness your strength to create a brand new future.

Things can and will change for the better if you put your heart and mind to it.

Start by looking for sources of inspiration and information! My favorite motivational book is “The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be” by Jack Canfield. It offers 67 proven principles used by successful people that will help you achieve what you want–including financial freedom–no matter where you are in life at this moment. This book transformed my life and it can help you transform yours by creating action plans that yield results!

Take baby steps and educate yourself regarding money matters. The Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE) offers financial literacy information about budgeting, investing and retirement to women in all stages in life, including divorce. Or book an appointment with a life or financial coach to help you dispel financial disempowering beliefs and put in place an abundance strategy.

Do your homework and tap into every available source of information and inspiration and begin your journey of financial empowerment and liberation. Which leads to the second trap, also related to financial concerns…

Lack of Education and Skills

Are you stuck with your husband because you’re afraid that you don’t have the education and skills you need to earn enough money to support yourself?

Granted, skills are necessary to make a living, especially at higher income levels. But your skills can be enhanced, so you can have access to better employment opportunities.

Is there a dream job that makes your heart go “thump?” Research your dream job and find out what skills and training are required to do it. The training you need may be more accessible than you think. Stop by your local Unemployment or Department of Labor offices for assistance and career counseling. Get information about training programs designed to help people like you change careers and improve their skills sets.

Investigate class offerings at your local vocational schools and community colleges and look at adult education courses, grants and scholarships available. Some of these schools have placement programs that can help you find a job when you complete your studies.

This may surprise you but…do you realize you may already possess skills and personal qualities that make you a dream employee? Maybe you are incredibly organized, personable or have the ability to multitask. These skills have value!  I can tell you from having worked as a recruiter, that employers are willing to train people who are driven, hardworking and eager to learn and grow.

And stop by your local library to find out more about the many resources that could transform you into the confident employee any employer would be lucky to hire!    

Lack of Information

Some say ignorance is bliss, but it can also be a trap if you’re in an unhappy marriage. Not knowing your rights and options will trick you into making life-altering decisions from a position of weakness.

And oftentimes our husbands keep us blinded behind a veil of self-serving propaganda. You may be trapped in a prison of fear under threats that he will take the kids away, throw you out on the streets or get you deported.

Information is power! If your husband is clouding your vision by painting frightening scenarios, get the correct information and set yourself free. The odds are that he is bluffing to keep you under his spell!

Seek counsel from an attorney, a non-profit organization or other reputable sources. Research the questions that matter to you the most. With the right information, you can examine your marriage and make the decision to divorce or to stay from a position of strength.

Set yourself free to live the life of your dreams!

Do you feel trapped in your marriage? What holds you back and what are your freedom strategies?

I’d love to hear from you! Share your insights with your sisters by posting a comment below.

Sonia Frontera is a family attorney, empowerment trainer and full-time doggie mom. She is the proud survivor of an unhappy marriage, a liberating divorce and is living proof that there’s life after separation.  Sonia is the author of the #1 bestseller “Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist?”

She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at her internet home.

Sign up for more blog posts and freebies here! And join our Sisterhood on Facebook.

The post Contemplating Divorce? Escape from the Traps that Keep You in an Unhappy Marriage. appeared first on Sonia Frontera.